NON BARLEYCORN
Non Barleycorn as I've been told is good as any beer
Contains no harmful substances and it won't make you feel queer
For it contains no alcohol or calories to waste
No color and no smell at all, no head, no fizz, no taste
Chorus:
Hey Non Barleycorn, Ho Non Barleycorn, won't do anything at all, Non Barleycorn
Now it will not make you happy, and it won't give you a low
Won't pick you up or bring you down, but through you it will go
When you've had six you'll feel the same as if you'd just had one
And when the party's over you won't know if you've had fun
Chorus
Now do not scorn this noble brew, but to me now pay heed
Non Barleycorn will serve you well in any time of need
For when you're out of beer and wine and vinegar and ink
And petrol, piss and turpentine, non beer's the stuff to drink
Chorus