HRH Presents the Merry Spammer's Ball

Now I don't know who these people are but there's a group of spammers on the web who're downright Discordian. They peddle the typical things but their ads are really weird. For one thing, each ad is surrounded by all sorts of famous quotes and slogans. And not just the generic ones either; colloquialisms about penis size sit right next to quotes by Goethe.

Then there are the sender lines. The retern e-mail addresses are simple alphanumeric strings but there is always a sender name included. And those names are completly surreal and intriguing. . .

The following are the characters that have sprung from these names. Surreal, enchanting, and perfectly at home in a neo-victorian gutterkind revival kind of setting:

Rosella K. Pandora -- Most likely the heroine of our story. Quite mad.

Blockades F. Colloquial -- Notable heavy and errant braggart. Shares a criminal enterprise with Diandra T. Insurgencies.

Bank Antithesis -- A truly dastardly sort. The fallen son of a rich knave.

Dean Rubio -- Romantic interest. Presently courting miss Burgundy D. Residence

Diandra T. Insurgencies -- A real firebrand. A lady of easy leisure and uncertain profundity. Share a criminal enterprise with Blockades F. Colloquial.

Repaints W. Quid and Weighty R. Seagram -- Our merry comedians. They share their love of the burlesque and vaudvilleian humor sensibilities with all of polite society. Repaints is tall and Weighty is stout. Have been known to wear shabby bowlers.

Checkbook B. Stronghold -- The mayor and regent of the locale wherein our drama takes place.

Burgundy D. Residence -- An artist and truly sensitive type. She is sadly blind to the love of Dean Rubio.

Tweaks H. Arkansas -- A real charlatan. Sheister, huckster and quick-dealer. Rumored to be from the States.

Heisenberg P. Inequity -- August Professor Emeritus and father figure to lovely Rosella K. Pandora and Miss Burgundy D. Residence.


Here are my casting suggestions so far: ~ Dog
Monica H. as Rosella K. Pandora
Usagi as Burgundy D. Residence
Mysterio as Dean Rubio
Abi Thompson as Diandra T. Insurgencies
Dog as Blockades F. Colloquial

Other fun names from Dog:

Eugenio Miner
Pearlie Byrd
Shyest C. Ambitiousness
Wineglass G. Showmanship
Hattie Fish
Fruiting V. Hellespont
Arm U. Gambles
Travestied R. Granddads
Procrastination M. Binomials
Agonized L. Blown
Fudge L. Excretories

And from Keri-O:

Lugubriousness F. Pettifogger

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